Thursday, September 1, 2011

Take A Leap Of Faith

My first words. First steps. First Christmas. First report card. First kiss. First school dance. First car. We all can account to have a first time for everything. Most insignificant, every day things. Others milestones that can possible change our life. Think in different ways, imagine new possibilities. Most people do not realize how events can can their life. Me for instants. I was a smart, sheltered girl that knew nothing of the other side of life. As a freshman my eyes were opened to so many new intriguing things. And you know what? Without learning those things and making it a first priority to learn and take so much in, I wouldn't be who I am today. Not knowing that than, but reflecting on it now I see that the world is made up of so many unique individuals, with different stories and experiences to share.
To this date I stand a girl going into her senior year. I've had the chance to live in Florida with my grandparents the whole summer and I can say this will be a first step to changing myself to be a better person. Sure, it's been fun, laid back and totally care free. If you were in a tropical location wouldn't you do the same? Anyways, I find it hard to be away from my family and friends. Not really having anyone to take to like back at home. Here I can be me, find myself again. Also appreciate everything when I go back home. I feel more humble, forgiving and focused on the goals I want for myself. It's crazy to think in a years time I'll have the world at my feet. Free to do what I choose.
God has a plan for everyone, and I think he helps us realize they can happen. He helps us believe anything is possible and nothing is standing in our way besides ourselves. We must take a leap of faith, know the challenges we face and make a future to live in. It's intimidating to think about forever, but without that initial first experience you will always wonder about how it could have been.

No Jane Doe

I have brown eyes. Two big brown eyes. I have a nose, a set of ears, a couple birth marks, dimples, short compared to most and a killer smile. A Jane Doe. If you never saw me or knew me, I'm just another face in the crowd. But I'm not. I'm Katie. A 17 year old that is finding her way, trying to make a difference by making people smile.  But you wouldn't know that by the information I just gave you. My personality is more complex than people realize. I can crack a joke yet the next minute holding your hand crying out your hurt. I enjoy to party and dance, get all dolled up, yet I can watch movies for a whole Sunday in the pj's I slept in the night before. I like to give people advice, see situations from both sides, be supportive and protective, yet be hurting inside not letting people really know how I feel or what I want. I love to talk and be the center of attention, but that's only when I get to know someone really good. Until than I will go out of my way, making every wish fulfilled. I always laugh and smile making people feel the same, yet I'll have a mood swing: mad, sad, depressed, anxious. I go with the flow but can be a stubborn Irish lassie and eventually get what I want. I don't like confrontation but I sure as hell will put up a fight if I needed to. I am happy with my life yet sometimes I wish I had what others had.
 Sometimes I feel like I don't know who I am. Almost becoming a different person when I'm around certain people. I have always done this, being respectful to teachers and adults, yet knowing how to cause havoc with my friends.
I guess I figure life is an adventure that should be lived to it's potential. I enjoy the person I am. I enjoy making others happy and seeing how I impacted their life. I thank God for building me along the way, even if I have committed sins. There are always lessons learned even if they seem like your life is over.
I'm not sure about where I'm going or well I'll end up, but my journey thus far has made me realize how lucky I am to live, be triumphant yet crumble into a million tiny pieces for mistakes I've made. I guess whatever didn't kill you makes your stronger. This I am sure of.
I'm Katie Marie Kilbane. Born September 16th 1993.  I have brown eyes, a 5'4 stature, enjoy eating, tanning, and making mistakes. I'm no Jane Doe. I'm an individual finding my way. No mold will ever fit me. I choose my own path. Never breaking, always making and improving my life one step at a time

Perfect Romance?

Today is a day of revolution. Today we rebuild what has been crumbling for years. We rebuild the word love. So love, I won't take pain in your definition, I won't accept mediocre excuses of lies and unfaithfulness, I won't stand to be be walked on, used, canvassed as some prize or even treated with disrespect. The word "love" can mean an assortment of daily ideals, but above all it means you care deeply for another. You give your energy, time and devotion for someone other then yourself. Become selfless and understanding of your significant other. It's important to feel emotions; the good and bad, but if we do not love correctly all that we know could possibly be ruined. Love means you love everything about them even flaws and imperfections. --We must first understand ourselves before we think about trying to understand another. Finding yourself and experiencing what the world has to offer is the first task we take on. Don't rush to find someone or something to fill a void. The man of your dreams will come along (probably not on a white steed, or even ask for your hand to dance) when you least expect it. If he takes time don't sweat it, just tell yourself if a phony comes along don't fall for his tricks, hold out for the best possible match to what your expectations are. Love comes in all different directions at different speed so don't get mad if you're caught in traffic; be patient and the light at the end of the tunnel will appear before you know it.